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Available Online and In Stores

Published by New Harbinger

Audiobook version

Produced by Tantor Media


Whether you want therapy but can't afford or access it;

are in therapy but want more skills and strategies to be happier;

or don't want therapy at all but want skills and strategies you'd learn in therapy -

this book is for you!

Im Not Okay and Thats Okay.png
Im Not Okay and Thats Okay

Watch steffdiscuss the book

​For those days when you feel like you just can’t take it anymore…


Everybody struggles. Whether you’re breaking down in tears at the grocery store, on the verge of cussing out your toxic family member or coworker, screaming at cars in traffic, or feeling completely alone and friendless on a Saturday night—we’ve ALL been there. The struggle is REAL. And it’s okay to NOT feel okay sometimes.


Fortunately, there are simple ways to help you identify and improve your negative thoughts, calm the chaos of emotional overwhelm, and feel better quickly. This portable, accessible pick-me-up is just what you need.


I’m Not Okay and That’s Okay offers in-the-moment microskills—little strategies for big change—based in proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and real-life experience. With this go-to guide, you’ll learn to recognize unhelpful thinking patterns; cope with feelings of sadness, anger, worry, fear, and frustration; and improve your relationships. Most importantly, you’ll uncover the root cause of why you feel the way you do, what’s making you feel worse, and how you can deal with these intense feelings in healthier ways. 

Author Bio:

Endorsements for I'm Not Okay & That's Okay

“I sped through Steff Du Bois’s I’m Not Okay and That’s Okay, then went back and read it again to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. Du Bois, with great empathy and deep clinical knowledge, normalizes not being okay, then gives digestible, clear, and easy-to-follow instructions on how to healthily respond to life’s stressors. Du Bois’s coping mechanisms and gentle guidance were revelatory.”
—Anton DiSclafani, professor of English at Auburn University, and author of The After Party
“Steff Du Bois is the only person I know who could write such a smart, practical, enjoyable book about managing life’s struggles. The science behind his recommendations is robust, and he makes it so clear and relatable that I think it’s one of the few self-help books you cannot read without changing…. A gem of a book.”
—Gloria Balague, president of APA Division 47 (Sport and Exercise Psychology) in 2012; and former sports psychologist for the US Track and Field Olympic Team, the US Gymnastics Olympic Team, and the Chicago Bears
“I’m Not Okay and That’s Okay is an incredible tool for LGBTQIA+ people and others to develop skills to help them deal and cope with the numerous and nuanced challenges that they encounter. With self-love and humor at its core, it’s an approachable source for helping manage one’s mental health and wellness.”
—Shea Couleé, world-renowned drag queen, actor, musician, designer, activist, and model residing in Chicago, IL
“Steff Du Bois is a one-of-a-kind personality that has created a one-of-a-kind healing tool. Yet, it’s relatable to everyone! Du Bois breaks down the basics of psychology in a way that is easy to understand, and then shares practical exercises that give you a straightforward plan on how to take charge of your own healing journey. He makes therapy accessible to everyone. What a gift!”
—Miss Angelina, award-winning writer, director, actress, and recording artist from Puerto Rico, selected for the National Hispanic Media Coalition Latinx Showcase
“Many of us are simply not OK. Steff Du Bois’s book is refreshing and practical; engagingly written, normalizing the complexity of feelings and struggles that seem part of everyday life. Each chapter is grounded in theory-driven solutions, making the book a resource for those wise enough to read it.”
—Robert Garofalo, MD, MPH, professor of pediatrics at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, and chief of the Division of Adolescent and Young Adult Medicine at Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago, IL
“Steff Du Bois has done an excellent job making cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) simple and relatable for everyday people struggling with real-life problems. Their book has something for everyone. Du Bois has created one short chapter for each week of the year, a regular bite-sized nugget of wisdom and guidance to help people feel a little more okay when they are not okay, managing an imperfect life in a flawed universe.”
—Monnica T. Williams, board-certified clinical psychologist, professor, and Canada Research Chair in Mental Health Disparities at the University of Ottawa
“This book is for anyone eager to feel better. Written with great heart, intelligence, and wisdom, I’m Not Okay and That’s Okay is a wonderfully accessible synthesis of our common struggles with a clear guide for what to do about them. Skills-based and grounded in CBT, it provides a road map, cleverly packaged in small, manageable steps for change that will bring relief, hope, and inspiration.”
—Karen Skerrett, PhD, psychologist, consultant, former clinical associate professor, staff at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and author of Growing Married

Steff Du Bois ImNotOkayandThatsOkay
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